As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?