As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
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My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?