Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor