HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dignity is for republicans.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"