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So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dignity is for republicans.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
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