I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
