let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
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Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
a search helicopter?!