Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (254)

Last Night in Texas (254)

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(254): View more from Texas

it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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(254): it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless. http://tfl.nu/hrpm

Replies (15) Good night (2814) Bad night (1418) Order T-Shirt
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.

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That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.

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(254): There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option. (512): That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too. http://tfl.nu/lz3p

Replies (9) Good night (2775) Bad night (1075)
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He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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(254): He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American http://tfl.nu/3hjs

Replies (29) Good night (2627) Bad night (1974) Order T-Shirt
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Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.

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(254): Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/9aes

Replies (3) Good night (2610) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.

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(254): Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer. http://tfl.nu/oysw

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...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.

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(254): ...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom. http://tfl.nu/zxa5

Replies (4) Good night (2504) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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(254): There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator http://tfl.nu/goje

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I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.

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He's majoring in Religion

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(254): I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka. (254): He's majoring in Religion http://tfl.nu/gx54

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This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

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Jealous?

(903): View more from Texas

Very.

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(903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx

Replies (8) Good night (2343) Bad night (678)
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I have a surprise for you

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Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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(254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l

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I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls

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(254): I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls http://tfl.nu/dudn

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You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

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(254): You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wqqf

Replies (3) Good night (2075) Bad night (749)
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I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.

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(254): I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire. http://tfl.nu/x5cn

Replies (11) Good night (1939) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.

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(254): Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social. http://tfl.nu/292p

Replies (5) Good night (1912) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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Are we hungover?

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I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.

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(254): Are we hungover? (713): I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it. http://tfl.nu/8xx2

Replies (5) Good night (1888) Bad night (574)

Last Night in Texas (254)

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