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So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Someone shit on the floor
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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