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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
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