Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (216)

Last Night in Ohio (216)

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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.

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(216): I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance. http://tfl.nu/bz9b

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Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.

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(216): Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product. http://tfl.nu/f048

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ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

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(216): ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time. http://tfl.nu/5061

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she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???

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(216): she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job??? http://tfl.nu/mo3e

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There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.

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(216): There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself. http://tfl.nu/jj9y

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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping

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(216): Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping http://tfl.nu/0qth

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Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.

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Honestly, what else do I have going for me?

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You make a valid point.

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(216): Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets. (440): Honestly, what else do I have going for me? (216): You make a valid point. http://tfl.nu/ba8r

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dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."

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so im guessing thats a no.....

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(216): dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits." (814): so im guessing thats a no..... http://tfl.nu/rer4

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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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(216): the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again. http://tfl.nu/jfz7

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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"

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(216): I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely" http://tfl.nu/sd7p

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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working

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(216): Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working http://tfl.nu/ls32

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For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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(216): For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma http://tfl.nu/ysyc

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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.

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(216): I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/d2mk

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thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?

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... about that ...

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(440): thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok? (216): ... about that ... http://tfl.nu/8foz

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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping

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(216): He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping http://tfl.nu/ku3q

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Last Night in Ohio (216)

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