As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.