Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (216)

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  If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.

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  (216): If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer<div>(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.</div> http://tfl.nu/erbk
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  there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?

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  (216): there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed? http://tfl.nu/x18l
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  I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

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  (216): I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair http://tfl.nu/q3gk
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  my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.

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  (216): my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win. http://tfl.nu/rx98
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  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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  (216): So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab http://tfl.nu/z45l
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  Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?

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  (216): Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon? http://tfl.nu/iu1h
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  She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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  (216): She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened http://tfl.nu/r1vr
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  ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.

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  (216): ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1. http://tfl.nu/a49b
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  It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote

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  (216): It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote http://tfl.nu/ew61
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  She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.

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  (216): She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it. http://tfl.nu/064r
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  he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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  (216): he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone http://tfl.nu/anp6
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  she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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  (216): she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm" http://tfl.nu/ofag
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  We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

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  (216): We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber http://tfl.nu/uas6
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  So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?

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  (216): So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent? http://tfl.nu/r4d5
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  The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.

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  (216): The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again. http://tfl.nu/9v1i
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