Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Follow @tfln