Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Connecticut (203)

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  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
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  He told me they were just razor bumps!

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  (203): He told me they were just razor bumps! http://tfl.nu/2b3s
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  We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

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  (203): We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom. http://tfl.nu/yf2o
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  I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?

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  (203): I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision? http://tfl.nu/h84p
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  is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??

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  (203): is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore?? http://tfl.nu/voom
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  Some milfs here doing some blow

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  Dad?

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  (203): Some milfs here doing some blow (1-203): Dad? http://tfl.nu/14p7
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  i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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  (203): i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room... http://tfl.nu/dscd
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  a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

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  (203): a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up. http://tfl.nu/5e3h
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  Come over? It's my birthday

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  How many times has that text failed you tonight?

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  (203): Come over? It's my birthday (267): How many times has that text failed you tonight? http://tfl.nu/a6z6
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  doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.

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  (203): doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student. http://tfl.nu/a880
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  i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.

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  (203): i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool. http://tfl.nu/2evd
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  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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  (203): just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge http://tfl.nu/b456
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  no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.

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  (203): no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet. http://tfl.nu/q394
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  he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down

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  (203): he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down http://tfl.nu/m1he
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  Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?

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  I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.

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  (203): Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin? (1-203): I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight. http://tfl.nu/pi9j
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