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if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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