Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (203)

Last Night in Connecticut (203)

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if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.

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(203): if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize. http://tfl.nu/tmed

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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.

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(203): I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed. http://tfl.nu/jzfc

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I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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(203): I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help. http://tfl.nu/59br

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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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(203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek

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Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

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(203): Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester. http://tfl.nu/4eoz

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Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

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(203): Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock? http://tfl.nu/k7ck

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so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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(203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0

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theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him

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(203): theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him http://tfl.nu/busx

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We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

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(203): We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved. http://tfl.nu/1hyb

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the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

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did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

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(203): the problem with open bar is i never know what to get (781): did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..." http://tfl.nu/knqb

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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.

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Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.

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(203): Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone. (607): Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/z2i9

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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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(203): You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/n1s3

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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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(203): The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately. http://tfl.nu/h16j

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he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave

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(203): he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave http://tfl.nu/v07m

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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places

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(203): She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places http://tfl.nu/q4g8

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Last Night in Connecticut (203)

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