Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You work out of a Hotel?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is