Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
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Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You work out of a Hotel?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
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dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey