Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You work out of a Hotel?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off