i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
actually, I'm a sock model