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Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.

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(412): It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg. http://tfl.nu/82qd

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I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

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(412): I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here. http://tfl.nu/0gmn

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Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?

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(412): Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went? http://tfl.nu/2c9n

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I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.

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(412): I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship. http://tfl.nu/nd0o

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me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan

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(412): me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan http://tfl.nu/bxhp

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Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.

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(412): Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head. http://tfl.nu/0n78

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so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

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That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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(724): so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca. (412): That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia. http://tfl.nu/lbkk

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After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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(412): After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me. http://tfl.nu/f4ue

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Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?

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The recession has changed everything man.

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(412): Why are there hot girls at the dollar store? (410): The recession has changed everything man. http://tfl.nu/jvje

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Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?

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I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?

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(412): Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option? (412): I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be? http://tfl.nu/cvc8

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I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.

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(412): I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes. http://tfl.nu/yyns

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Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.

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Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.

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(412): Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well. (1-412): Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel. http://tfl.nu/ymay

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Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

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(412): Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with. http://tfl.nu/nobk

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Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.

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(412): Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color. http://tfl.nu/uexv

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The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.

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(412): The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN. http://tfl.nu/72t6

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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