I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight