i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?