At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.