Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke