there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
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I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.