So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.