my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory