Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.