Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers