I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH