Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (516)

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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
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  Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.

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  (516): Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses. http://tfl.nu/khuc
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  I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.

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  (516): I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos. http://tfl.nu/v11h
  Replies (8) Good night (1539) Bad night (383)
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  Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.

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  (516): Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke. http://tfl.nu/6p0l
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  Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg

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  Omg suz!! take the unibrow off

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  No! im just getting hammered instead

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  (516): Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg (410): Omg suz!! take the unibrow off (516): No! im just getting hammered instead http://tfl.nu/mscr
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  my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.

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  (516): my mother just offered to pay for my fake id. http://tfl.nu/7t8s
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  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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  (516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh
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  i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right

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  (516): i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right http://tfl.nu/qyre
  Replies (1) Good night (1862) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

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  (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch. http://tfl.nu/fh6f
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  why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

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  (516): why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo? http://tfl.nu/oqag
  Replies (16) Good night (2683) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane

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  (516): you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane http://tfl.nu/flz9
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  I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

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  (516): I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank http://tfl.nu/rnlw
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  If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.

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  (516): If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals. http://tfl.nu/q4jm
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  Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.

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  (516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city. http://tfl.nu/k96c
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  check it out our google latitudes are spooning

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  (516): check it out our google latitudes are spooning http://tfl.nu/t63m
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt