I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.