I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."