In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.