Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.