She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
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If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.