Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.