He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?