I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake