I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
