fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid