he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.