He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover