he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
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I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.