The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
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If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned