I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started