The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
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Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
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Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms