I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel