does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.