She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside