Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.