Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job