he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.