To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.