I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
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i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
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they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT