Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (703)

Last Night in Virginia (703)

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its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

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(703): its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out http://tfl.nu/sd1u

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the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

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(703): the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex http://tfl.nu/ydbw

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I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

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I see a marketing opportunity

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(703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off! (1-703): I see a marketing opportunity http://tfl.nu/gn9o

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I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.

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(703): I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like. http://tfl.nu/tgx7

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you're bored at work aren't you?

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I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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(571): you're bored at work aren't you? (703): I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk http://tfl.nu/77tj

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we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

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(703): we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret' http://tfl.nu/447f

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And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

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(703): And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet... http://tfl.nu/n7ez

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why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?

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(703): why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall? http://tfl.nu/4ssb

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He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.

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(703): He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party. http://tfl.nu/xsn8

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By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.

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Thank you Grey Goose.

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(703): By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out. (703): Thank you Grey Goose. http://tfl.nu/neos

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I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband

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(703): I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband http://tfl.nu/pijn

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Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.

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(703): Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick. http://tfl.nu/xski

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He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.

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(703): He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations. http://tfl.nu/6vv2

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seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with

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Well said.

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(757): seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with (703): Well said. http://tfl.nu/migv

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so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted

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(703): so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted http://tfl.nu/4p9h

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Last Night in Virginia (703)

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