got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?