He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making