I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.