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i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
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