if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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