I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.