My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night