even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.