we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?