Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (201)

Last Night in New Jersey (201)

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coke and sex party at dan's

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im watching greys anatomy with megan...

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wha-pishhh

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(973): coke and sex party at dan's (201): im watching greys anatomy with megan... (973): wha-pishhh http://tfl.nu/auvy

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and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

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(201): and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate. http://tfl.nu/09wt

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i only shaved half my leg

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on purpose

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(201): i only shaved half my leg (201): on purpose http://tfl.nu/r22e

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it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships

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(201): it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships http://tfl.nu/cs10

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You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.

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(201): You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/vn8h

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we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees

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(201): we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees http://tfl.nu/26hp

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Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

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NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

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(551): Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead (201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it" http://tfl.nu/4pzt

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I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home

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r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?

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(201): I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home (248) r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore? http://tfl.nu/fb8r

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"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc

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damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy

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(201): "women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc (1-201): damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy http://tfl.nu/c3kq

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Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?

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(201): Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning? http://tfl.nu/326j

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Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

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(201): Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice. http://tfl.nu/k20h

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Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

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obviously you're part succubus.

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(609): Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf? (201): obviously you're part succubus. http://tfl.nu/sqeb

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Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.

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(201): Having kids is risky. They might end up weird. http://tfl.nu/gtfl

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just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

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(201): just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face. http://tfl.nu/tz6f

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When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics

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(201): When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics http://tfl.nu/in12

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Last Night in New Jersey (201)

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