just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"