Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Tennessee (615)

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  He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."

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  (615): He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys." http://tfl.nu/9d5s
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  Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.

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  (615): Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok. http://tfl.nu/sac8
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  all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident

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  (615): all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident http://tfl.nu/nfc5
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  The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.

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  (615): The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/fkvx
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  He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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  (615): He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat. http://tfl.nu/bfbd
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  Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!

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  (615): Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY! http://tfl.nu/jz8m
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  a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv

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  (615): a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv http://tfl.nu/wh93
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  I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...

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  Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again

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  (865): I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out... (615): Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again http://tfl.nu/gvsb
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  You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.

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  (615): You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea. http://tfl.nu/dzpq
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  Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...

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  (615): Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her... http://tfl.nu/47qs
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  i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

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  (615): i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket http://tfl.nu/krhl
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  Maybe she gives good head

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  A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head

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  (731): Maybe she gives good head (615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head http://tfl.nu/5nox
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  jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell

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  (615): jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell http://tfl.nu/zqhf
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  Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it

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  (615): Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it http://tfl.nu/48wy
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  it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

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  (615): it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex.. http://tfl.nu/6q5t
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