Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (615)

Last Night in Tennessee (615)

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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

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(615): it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex.. http://tfl.nu/6q5t

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Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.

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(615): Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness. http://tfl.nu/v4md

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one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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(615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c

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I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...

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(615): I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look... http://tfl.nu/yc9r

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I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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(615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9

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so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me

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(615): so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me http://tfl.nu/hnft

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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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(615): The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw. http://tfl.nu/u9lh

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After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.

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(615): After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland. http://tfl.nu/h2ls

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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?

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(615): I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed? http://tfl.nu/0gei

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took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now

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(615): took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now http://tfl.nu/5whe

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She puked her nose ring out of her face.

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(615): She puked her nose ring out of her face. http://tfl.nu/6cuk

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Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.

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I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.

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Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.

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(615): Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess. (1-615): I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea. (615): Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight. http://tfl.nu/tw6c

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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.

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(615): She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse. http://tfl.nu/chf5

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Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast

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(615): Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast http://tfl.nu/lexd

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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat

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(615): We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat http://tfl.nu/d487

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Last Night in Tennessee (615)

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