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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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