jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.