High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week