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there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
even my farts smell like vagina
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
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