My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
even my farts smell like vagina
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him