She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible