The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered