She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot